So I’m like one year away from college, a couple days away from my 18th birthday and it just hit me, what exactly have I accomplished for myself. I’m sitting here worrying about my math’s exam and thinking about even more exams so I can go to college and do even more exams. I mean that’s not all there is is college but seriously what have I got to show for attending high school.
I’m preparing for life … but this isn’t life. Really I’m not the most devoted person when it comes to school work, it’s really something I just want to get out of the way, I’m not failing but I’m not exactly first in my class. I could be but I can’t be passionate about textbooks that long.
So I started wondering is college really for me, I mean it’s a serious question that we all think about at this stage actually the question most ask is which college is for us. I have to ask the prerequisite, is there even a college for me. I’m no genius or child prodigy, I need structure but I don’t need it.
I came across the Theil Fellowship website while browsing the web for information to finish my math homework, which quickly moved to computer science etcetera etcetera blah blah. Anyway back to the Theil Fellowship you ever have that feeling when you just know this might just be something for you. That’s the feeling I got, I’m not too sure that sitting in a classroom may be the best way for me to learn something and frankly when I try to learn independently ‘school’ gets in the way. I prefer independent learning. So what’s a girl to do. I have one year left and this is a new year, so here’s my challenge to myself before the end of this year I will aim to create or build a cause or project that I can independently call my own.
…Let’s call it my Fear-Project.
I’m seriously considering the Theil project as opposed to college though, I’m a big scaredy cat when it comes to actually attaining the success and ambitions I aim for.
They say the first step to overcoming fear is acknowledging it. So let’s see how this goes.